Sullen Rainfall
On quiet lonesome nights, despite the crowded rooms stifled with slumber, there are times when the rain showers over head. I'm reminded of that crystal heart full of clear acid. Yet in this moment it's more like poison as the translucent liquid swirls into pitch black as if it were volcanic sand mixing with sea water.
A reminder when my heart slows but continues pumping blood fervently right before that foreboding thought. The thought of my breathe ceasing and my chest collapses and rigor mortis sets in as the fading life ebbs out.
My wishes and desperation are fruitless and not worthy of such ambition.
I'm just a tired soul. Exhausted with the same expectations connecting to disappointment. A never ending meeting of the same expectations.
So why not give motion to another's existence. Let their happiness be an uncontrollable infectious disease. At least then there will be a bit of joy in the gloom.
As the rain falls with sullen showers it reminds me of you.
On days like this there's nothing better than the sweet lullaby to lull you sleep.
To dream of nothing more than happiness. And yet there's nothing here.
The Faithless Child.
Grotesque bones and feathers; bloody and mutilated as they begun to protrude from the shoulders. These wings of mine, are not as beautiful or radiant anymore as they grow, but they are returning all the same.
Please... I beg of you... Don't see me... Do not see the real me...
Even though...I've lied to myself. I truly believe I had thrown away my wings and halo. I did not wish to be among my former brethren. I had truly wanted to throw it away. Run away and become a simple soul that held my households safely.
Alas, He would not allow that when the time called for it. When he called for me to do my obligation as His child. The duty given and made of the 3rd Eldest.
My brother of Holy faith had followed me to the land of man. Since the last holy war he knew I had given up what I am. And for the first time since then, he has seen the return of my former soul. The Halo and ephemeral wings are heavily weighing upon my back. And yet the weight is natural as if it had never left.
Despite my lost sight, I see within my mind the path that's awaiting me. The voices speak to me and usher me to follow it...
I wish to run. To not be found. Yet it is too late. I've procrastinated long as I could, but it is time.
My brother, I wish to wander more, but I know all to well. It cannot be helped. Even death cannot help me. I am not allowed my faithless death.
I am the faithless child, but I am one who obeys in the holds of loyalty.
Instead of a consequence, you gave me a promise didn't you...
Instead of following the fallen, you gave me an outing...
For that I am grateful.
Yet I'm sure you will make me work hard in return, hah.
I will not be told the secrets I have to learn, so at least give me a little leverage for your oh so mischievous children.
~ Meta of the Heavenly Demented.
-------
For those of the sight; may you only see my households. I truly wish to never be seen by those of a different realm for the signs that follow into the future may not be well intentions.
Within the depths of the darkness.
Even though the night is difficult sometimes. When we see quite differently.
Even though the wave of fear, anguish and anger arise.
It will come to rest at some point.
Let the peace wash over you.
And then sleep in tranquility.
I didn't ask for this
Why must I be the one to fix your issues; your behavior.
I am not here to make everything better and solve all the messed up puzzles in your lives.
I didn't ask for any of this. I was simply brought here without my own violation.
Can't I at least earn my right for this peace I hold. This small sanity I want to keep the same.
I've had enough of fighting because I simply follow this unknown path.
I just want to coast along the rivers of the life until I'm found dead.
Continuously shall I return these words to a blank canvas.
Feebleness
And no. I don't mean that it will stop being anxious, but that everything will stop working and it will be put to rest...
And once again when I'm forced to return. Humanity will have changed. Yet it's more likely to repeat itself onto another era of time.
